I saw a television reality dating
show recently called "The Millionaire Matchmaker" in which a woman who runs
this dating operation is charged with hooking up the ultra-rich with mates.
Now, if you're super rich, and also, unable to find love or some reasonable
facsimile, you probably are either tragically unlucky or socially inept.
About 90 seconds
into the show, you realize nobody with that kind of lettuce is that unlucky.
This brings us to
millionaire bachelor free-agent Greg Oden, who
apparently is preparing to make his NBA comeback.
Right now, Portland
ought to be ticked. Not the basketball team, the city. We got jilted in the
2007 NBA draft. This city was so burned that the draft-day anniversary, June
28, ought to be a city-wide holiday in which we're all allowed to sit around in
street clothes and mope. That's what Oden mostly did between the five knee
surgeries and 82 games he played as a Trail Blazer. Basically, you have every
right to be bitter about Oden, but what I mostly hear and feel from you as a
report came out that Cleveland is
prepared to sign Oden to a multi-year contract is that
you're over the hurt and mostly just hoping things work out OK for the poor
guy.
I only bring up the
reality-television dating show for millionaires because you realize pretty
quickly in watching that show that the woman charged with finding suitable
partners for the rich would be so much better served to have the exes of the
millionaires in for a sit-down. And to this, I offer the rest of the NBA,
"Rules for Dating Greg Oden" from Oden's ex-NBA city. Basically, what
the 7-foot center most needs to have success in a future NBA partner:
Rule
One: Make it a double date.
I always felt that
the biggest setback Oden had in Portland wasn't his initial knee injury, but
the inability for Portland to land his former Ohio State teammate Michael
Conley on draft day. There were whispers that the Blazers also targeted Oden's
close childhood friend with their second draft pick, but were unable to move up
and get the point guard who went No.4 to Memphis.
Oden hired, and
still retains, Conley's father, Michael Sr., as his agent. Everyone realized
pretty quickly in Portland that Oden needed a confidant teammate. He never
found that, in part, due to the injuries. In part, because I don't think he's
the kind of guy who easily trusts and makes friends. Didn't help that
Portland's other two rookies that first season were second-round picks Josh
McRoberts (eight games) and Petteri Koponen (overseas), who weren't around
much. The Blazers tried bringing an injured Oden on the road, including a
midseason trip to Boston, but he was adrift.
The injuries, the
high expectations, the perception that Oden wasn't engaged here
psychologically, all hurt him. But I wonder how different all this might have
been, and if Oden would still be a Blazer, if Conley were alongside him. Also,
didn't help later when Oden's dog -- McLovin' -- died. He loved that dog. So,
yeah, do what you can to pair up Conley and Oden . And if you can't, find Oden
a new best friend who can also contribute.
Rule
Two: Nightlife in moderation.
The biggest
personal acknowledgement that Oden made when exiting Portland was that he
struggled with alcohol abuse. He had a lot of downtime, and he was depressed,
and Oden himself said he escaped into Happy Hour. The guy also likes to dance.
He likes to watch dancers, too. And while the typical NBA player finds himself
with loads of free time and money in some of the most dynamic cities in the
country, I'm thinking Oden's perfect NBA city marriage is not Miami, Chicago,
New York or Los Angeles.
In the same way
that Zach Randolph seems to have found a more peaceful low-profile existence in
Memphis, Oden makes more sense in a small market. Some TMZ camera goon caught
Oden sitting on the curb outside a Miami nightclub in the summer of 2011 and
mistook him for LeBron James. That's exactly the wrong place for Oden. The
failed expectations in Portland, even in the No. 21 media market in the
country, felt crippling at times for Oden. A large market offers too much risk.
The fact that he'd
re-emerge as a peripheral contributor who might offer low-risk and high reward shouldn't
be a call to every championship contributor to make a run at Oden. Instead, I'd
offer that franchises such as Indiana, Cleveland, Oklahoma City and Milwaukee
and other mid-sized and small-market franchises should recognize that Oden is a
rare opportunity. Given $30 million in career earnings and the choice to live
anywhere in the world, he chose to return to his college town (Columbus, Ohio)
when his NBA career faltered. Don't ignore that important tidbit when matching
him up.
Rule
Three: Lots of hugs.
Oden is in demand.
No question. That he's played a total of 82 games since the 2007 NBA draft and
will still command multiple suitors shortly is a testament to nothing more than
how unique his skill set is. He has almost no proof of performance. His health
record is a disaster. There were questions even entering the pre-draft workouts
about whether he had a deep desire to play basketball or was simply born into
the 7-foot body. But what became most evident over time in Portland was that
Oden needs lots of positive reinforcement and feedback.
Then-coach Nate
McMillan was frustrated at times with how docile Oden could appear. I recall a
conversation during the playoffs in which I suggested that McMillan, who played
with fire in his belly as a player, should simply grab Oden, shake him and wake
him up. McMillan laughed and said, "I've considered it." Later, I
asked former resident NBA bruiser Frank Brickowski, who lives in Lake Oswego
and works with the NBA players association, what he might tell Oden if he got
the chance. You know, to help fire the guy up.
Brickowski said:
"I just want to hug the guy."
"Brick"
has it exactly right. Oden needs to be nurtured, not knocked. His basketball
life in college and in high school did not consist of being barked at. He was
told from a very young age how great he was, and he was softly pushed toward
the NBA, where he soon discovered being the No. 1 overall pick came with a
migraine and a pile of expectations. When things didn't go right, Oden flew south.
I suspect it wasn't just the bad break medically, but the bad karma he was
feeling from letting everyone down.
Oden is beginning
the re-invention of his professional basketball career. He's looking for a
long-term relationship. Portland is the only NBA city that should want nothing
to do with him. And Oden wants nothing to do with Portland.
And, yet, Portland,
the ex, knows exactly what he needs.